i'm just lying to myself...

the sky is gonna shine again

i think i never hate you before. to hate somebody needs lotsa courage. strength. i'm don't have. i'm just tired of almost everything. perhaps i'm just angry. afraid. afraid of you. i miss brownie and ice cream...

starting to get use into school life again. slightly improve on my timing. almost hit my target =] but i must continue. i won't give up. shall switch to green soon.

met up with huileng today. first time we went out together! partly because of alvin neo. haa. cause he gave us each a tix for tcc. some discount and a live graffiti spray show. so this person was spraying graffiti live infront of everyone of us on the wall. not much comment on his art piece. had coffee and lasagne. and we went walk around at far east. as we walk , we talk a lot too! hehe. enjoyed her company lotsa! and we each both a same spag top with a purple flower from the box! i simply love that top to bits! hee.

i'm sorry man

pardon me for behaving that way. sometimes its easier to forget something by not seeing the person. very soon. i know everything will be fine. but as for now. what can i say ?numbed as it is. just feeling unwell. i love to smile. i don't like that dull face . but i just can't help it.

what's more important now is STUDY and SWIMMING! they are enough to make me tired and busy. stop been lazy. start doing my work and not wait till last minute anymore. and to others. study hard k! lucky i have so many friends around me. i wasn't alone at all. i just simply love all my swim team mates. haha. i love my design friends. huiling!!

anyway. my friend give me a amazing site address http://blueballfixed.ytmnd.com/. first reaction. WTH IS THAT!!! go check it out!

stranger.

JERK

why did things turn out to be this way?

hatred and confuse is what i can say. after so long. that i realise it wasn't worth it at all. MESS. not even a word sorry. not even an explanation. beautiful memories. its all a dream. WAKE UP.

6th sense. we can sense anything amiss. just that we don't show. ignorance. i feel like slapping somebody. i feel like screaming out loud. its too much for me. i'm not as strong as mummy. i can't concentrate. too much. too much for me to take it. but i have to face it. face the truth. don't run away anymore. but i know i can't. pretence.. feel like an idiot. players players. JERK. BASTARD.for the first time i hate somebody so much. treasure? what does it mean?

what the hell am i talking about. i don't feel well......

does this look like BO BO CHA CHA to anyone? hahah. anyway. this is the by the desert stall @ ITAS canteen. wth.

UPDATE!

hmmm.. had TWO ktv session last week. hahaha. not bad. both very enjoying. hee. but pocket got a big hole.. its been long since i shop for clothes!!! you yOU YOU! maybe you dun remember.. but u promise me to go shopping with me long long ago.. school is starting real soon. haha. suddenly feel that i dun wan sch to start so soon. contradicting myself. OOPS. hee

to my surprise. mummy came to school on last wednesday during training. hee. i'm like so so so happy to see her!! hahah. reminds me of that charcoal medicine. hee.

met up with FEI!!! haha. so happy to see her! but was surprise that gene din came with us. hah! went to nydc at wheelock place. first time eating at that retaurant. not bad! their pasta quite nicee. hee. we gossip and bitch a lot. haah! and lastly we had brownie with ice cream for our dessert. haha. i miss brownie with ice cream! i'm like really hope that i will have same class with fei! oh ya. timetable will only be release on friday. WHAT THE!! so late... i heard that they normally release it two weeks before school start. what happen?!?!? anyway. haha. we went to border to kill time. and to the apple centre before that. i want my apple lappy!!! arghh. expo is having computer fair right?? i MUST visit it. i WANT my apple lappy! hee.

talking about monday. its monday BLUE again. haha. i almost overslept and got late for training. the thing is i'm suppose to go school earlier to meet up with captain to discuss about the swim team tee. haha. xiyun was absent. its like so weird so quiet without her. qinsheng wasn't there also.. I MISS YOU!!! he's oversea again... hai. wasn't performing well for the training. especially the swimming with paddle. i am disappointed. maybe coach is disappointed with me too. i should push myself MORE. but dunno why. my left arm jpint have been aching nowadays. maybe is the result of training. just hope that the pain will go away real soon!

did i forget to mention? my brother is back from taiwan on sunday night. haha. i wanna go taiwan too!!! the clothes there looks real cool. hee.

tired out myself.

another saturday.. can't seem to be able to distract. hmmm.

wake up early today to go school. its been long time since i wake up at such early hour. haha. met douglas and took bus together to school. planned to go and watch the wakeboarding competition held @ bedok reservoir. haha. in the end i spent most time at the pool watching ppl swimming .. haha. so crowded! so many little kids. cute!

walk to opp side of the reservoir.. cause that's where the tentage were and the life savers were. hee. si yuan , happy and benson was on duty. haha. set down on the shore with siyuan and happy. watch them wakeboarding.. SO COOL!! i'm gonna try it someday. hahaha. i can imagine myself wake boarding u know!! hahaha... was late for work.. was quite tired by then.. and i work all the way to shop close. tomorrow will be the same thing. work till shop close. no life. but to make myself busy.

had a good chat with ah ma last night. hee. first time! we shall jia you together and meet our target! =]

and i really miss bawah... i need the peace there. the feeling of no worry no stress.. i miss the stars. i really do!! if theres really smth that can go back to the past.
hold me.... tight.

another one...

took it during work.. haha. i just cut my hair not long before!

how sweet..

back from swimming training.. HEADACHE!!

i wonder how it feels to go chiong... hai. headache headache.

i think i have been think too much nowadays.. i'm just too free to let myself imagine things! i just want to stop at those happy times... i'm gonna work like crazy this weekend to prevent myself to be too free. then monday train real hard. i want to be faster! hai.. i miss mummy!!! i need you..i can predict that i'm gonna get gastric pain soon. haven been taking meal on time. din had dinner last night.. din had lunch today.. ate dinner late today. aiyaaa.. i want my pay! friday blue..

fei just talk to me in msn. hee. she's my good friend in design. she told me she misses me! how sweet of her. then she ask me to go out. haha. i miss her too!we're going to meet up! we're going nydc next wed! yay!! oh ya. i have never been to nydc to eat before.. hee.

i want worries NO more..

what's the use of crying when even though i cried. everything is still the same...

that's ou de yang!! post up specially for adeline to see. hahaha.

WEIRD dream i had. hahaha

its monday again!! i don't want monday BLUE!

anyway. hahah. ou de yang's face was revealed. i guess most of u all knew that. haha. but i never saw his face! so i decided to search online when i found this blog. haha. found what i want. okay what. not as bad as what i think. hahah. they say he look like kang kang. hahah!!

then i saw this advertisment from the blog. quite cool! check it out

http://www.imediaconnection.com/content/cs/honda/051303/honda.html

i had weird dream again. haha. something about swimming. ask me if u wanna know. hahaha.

was working for the past 2 days. boring.. no life!!! school is starting soon. real soon. gonna finish designing the swim team tee real soon. if not when andrew comes back. he's gonna bark me!!

i'm greedy! cause i want more! i want everything. hee.

i MISS yoU

realise something. haha. i got 3 email account!! just for the updates la. haha. any mails can send to any of them. kind of starting to like gmail. haha. cause of its real big space. haha. hahaha. know why i got yahoo mail? because i need it to be the member of lifesaving team yahoo group. haha.

natsuki_88@hotmail.com
yvonne.kui@gmail.com
vonkui@yahoo.com.sg

went to play bowling with andrew square chest and xiyun. damn stress! they all so pro!! went to eat lunch. haha. then went to cyber centre to slack. sometimes time can really pass first in cyber centre. haha. if only i know how to play maple. maybe i will enjoy more when i go there. hee. swimming training after that. die sia. the free style stroke drill really kills me! is really out of breathe. but it really helps on improving my stroke. finally finish all the sets. because we did faster for the stroke drills. so tired. but i want to be more faster! hahah.

he's out of the sea!!! =[=[=[

update

i'm feeling better nowadays. hehe. my weekend was slightly better then last one. though i still need to work. hahah. working with jia xiang is still the best. he's becoming more and more crappy. can practically laugh all the way. hahahaha. i fall sick over the weekend also. hahaha. had fever and it became more and more hot as i work. so i went home early and rest. slept and eat 2 panadol.! oh man. panadols are so sinful. hee. oh. did i forgot to mention? i had flu first. then became flu plus sore throat then finally all together with fever. hate flu. sneeze until i wanna die ahh.

but sunday was better. so i went to work. din manage to send dot off. and one thing. everytime i go work. i always got urge to cut hair. hahah. cause the salon is just beside my work place! but if i cut now. by the time sch start. my hair will grow le ma. so cannot cannot. hee.

my brother download Mayday's lastest album!! yeahhh. i love mayday. they just totally rocks. listen their song damn high sia. and one last thing. my brother is once again out of town!! the computer is absolutely MINE again. hee.

JUST for you = ]

this entry is specially posted for my dearest li ping mummy! i just felt so after reading your blog..

you know?? this morning i wake up earlier then usual.. i decided to on the computer and read blogs. but i just can't get into the page. kept trying getting into your blog. but dunno just cannot get in. i tried for a few times! finally!! i got into your blog. and you updated your blog! really want to know how you have been for the past few days. though we only just met up on last thursday.. but i really miss you a lot now! . dunno why when i read till that particular paragraph.. the tears just starts to fall.. i dunno why.. something has been going on and on on my mind. everything should be fine. don't worry= ]

but i'm so happy to have you as my mummy. hee. so happy to have a mummy that love me so much! i love you too! and you know you are my dearest too.. really look forward to the day when you will be studying back in tp campus.

i wish you happy too mummy. = ]

STUCKED in the middle of NOwhere.

hee. it has been about 1 week plus since i came back from the peneng trip. ahaha. really enjoyed myself. haha. lotsa fun and laughter. the other side of our coach which i have never see before. hahaha. nice experience . i look forward to next year's but this time round participating the competition. but i must really really be as hardworking as xiyun... sounds difficult. hmm..

went back to bubble tea shop and work. so adeline!!! you can come and visit me le! hahaha. but i'm only working on thursday sat and sun. by the way. u know you KYD right. think he's posted to rivervale to work there and the another guy right. is posted back to kovan kimage. whahaha. and douglas! if you are reading this. hahaha. remember to come and visit me ah. then i treat u drink honey milk tea with extra honey. hee. i want my pay!! i wanna buy that crocs. hee. so so so tempted.

by the way. i don't know why my whole left arm hurts now. so pain!! where's my massage?? and this is not a LAG blog okay! = p

went cycling yesterday with square chest andrew and xiyun. hahaha. meet then in sch at 10 plus. and we cycle to parkway parade there. stop and meet qinsheng. shop for dot's pressie. hee. and i bought my swimming costume!! so happy. hee.next item i wanna buy is a good pair of goggle. so... i want my pay!! after that qinsheng went home to rest. he's still feeling sick = [ please get better soon!! then we head towards east coast park. cycle to the end near qinsheng's house. and we cycle to the another end of east coast. all the way to changi airport there. and then to changi village and from there back to school. the journey is really really long. and my butt hurts my leg hurts and my arm hurts! i need massage. i really need some massage. first time ever in my life for cycling so long for such a long distance. but it was fun! hee. though i exert so much energy. i realise i din eat much yesterday. din even had dinner. hahaha. think i should have loss some weight. hee.

UPDATE!

HELLO = ] everyone again. hahahah.

came back from swim camp last thursday. ITS a fun one =] haha. quite enjoying. had some unbearable muscle ache everywhere infact from the first day of camp. hahah. had lotsa swimming training and stuff. and YES. resulting becoming more and more dark. hee.

after swim camp. i follow my mum to KL on saturday for my cousin's wedding. the journey was kinda long. i left my house at 1 pm and only reach the destination at 10 pm at night. cause its somewhere further then KL. my another cousin that driving us there was driving the car at the speed of 160 la. quite fast. hahaha. first time sitting in a car with this kind of speed. hahaha. after that we went genting. its been long since i went to genting. hahaha. surprisingly i din buy anything! hahahaha. was quite cold up there. nothing much actually. came back on monday. hahaha.

daddy finally allows me to go peneng. hahaha. i dunno why also. but again. thanks daddy!! hee. will try to get that CD you want. hahaha. 2nd time going oversea with friends. though its only malaysia. must remember to call back everyday. i know my parents are so worry abt me. just finish packing not long ago. 2 bags. one bi one small. haha. like what i brought the other time when i go sailing.

back to yesterday. went to school in the morning to swim. like 4 days never swim le. after that met xiao wen at town. saw this auntie. doing some survey.. i think on foreigners. then she targeted on this family from indonesia i think. then i was observing la. they got this scratch and win thingy. think they got some big prizes. then that auntie was like. 'WAH. you are really lucky ah' 'happy a not ah?' 'wah!! so lucky ah' like so fake lah!!! maybe its real. but the whole thingy just sounds so fake to me. like wanna cheat on them la. hopefully not ba. walk around in far east. and i got myself a NEW bikini! yeahhhh. hahahha. finally after so long . hee. but i think should stop tanning. like somebody say. bad for my skin. and girls are suppose to be white. though dun quite agree. but i think i'm too dark. maybe after the peneng trip i should just stop exposing to much to the sun and look after my skin. =p

so i shall stop here and quickly go bath le. =]

BYE everyone!!! hee.

dream dreAM DREAM...

HELLO ALL!

hahaha. once again back to update =] gonna go to the swim camp later at 8am. hahaha. and i'm still here blogging... haven even touch my bag not even say packing la. hahaha. but i decided to blog now. dunno why. hee.

holiday! everybody in tp is having holiday i guess. haha. but even its holiday. i find myself going back to sch quite often. especially that swimming pool. hahahaha. haven start to work since holiday start. is either slack. go out for a walk or swimming. lotsa thinking going on. cause when one person is too free. that person will start to think and think and think. agree? hee. means i'm too free la. hahaha.

still missing bawah a lot alot alot. and i really really mean alot!! i dun mind spending my whole holiday there lah!

and guess what. THERES A HUGE COCKROACH ON THE WALL LA!! so shitty. its like behind my com screen. but quite far from my com desk. the minute i look up i see it. and i can't help keeping looking at it. cause i scare it flies! toopig roaches! I HATE THEM! eeeeek! mummy and daddy is asleep. nobody can help me catch it. someone please help me!

oh no. its getting late. and i need to wake up at 6am to pack my bag. hahaha. good night all!